The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars

President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.

Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point