How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

Everybody says not enough people vote. Now, I don't know nothing, but after the midterms, pretty obvious to me, that too many people vote.

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

President Bush says we've turned the corner in Iraq. What is that, about 16 corners we've turned? I think they call that running in circles.