Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars

The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.

The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial-free.

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.