Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars

The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars

Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.