I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer.

Everyone I know who skis is dead.

By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wanted a show business career, but I was suppressing it.

What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too?

I'm professional, I'm allowed to say this. I let him lick my balls. So, that's what you need to get close with your animal.

I’m just a big, hairy, American winning machine!

Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.