I just kind of have a comedic looking body, I guess. If anything I really have to exercise just to not look too fudgy, otherwise I would just keep going and going.

I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.

I would think beer and football go hand in hand.

I'm a selective pack rat. There's some things I have no problem getting rid of and others I hold onto dearly.

I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.