The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.