The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.