Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter.

Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.