Will Rogers Quotes

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.

I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

Everytime a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing something so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said. Course perhaps he really haden't said anything, that's what makes it so hard to explain.

Don't wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.

The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.

We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

Work to make a living; serve to make a life.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

The minute a thing is long and complicated, it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept, but they are understood.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

A man only learns by two things; one is reading and the other is association with smarter people.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.