My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.

I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.

Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.

I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.

I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.

Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.