My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.

I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.

In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.