Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.

Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: "Let us out, let us out!".

You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.

You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.

I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.