I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.

You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?

I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.

Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.

I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.

Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name