And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it."

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.