My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign

Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.

The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.

Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.