There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.

Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.

People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.