All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.

But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!

Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.

Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.

It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.