Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.

The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.