I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.

In formulating any philosophy the first consideration must always be: What can we know? That is, what can we be sure we know, or sure that we know we knew it, if indeed it is at all knowable. Or have we simply forgotten it and are too embarrassed to say anything? Descartes hinted at the problem when he wrote, 'My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.

You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.