I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.

Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.

I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.

Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.