I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be."

You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.

When you make the film, it's like a chef who works on the meal. After you're working all day in the kitchen and dicing and cutting and putting the sauces on, you don't want to eat it. That's how I always feel about the films. I work on it for a year. I've written it, I've worked with the actors, I've edited, put the music in. I just never want to see it again.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.