I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.

We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!

When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?

This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.