I don't get depressed; I grow a tumor instead.

Subjectivity is objective.

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.

I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.