The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.

I don't rely on anybody except my own judgment. I don't get much input. I don't know if that's helped me or if I would be better off if I did rely on someone.

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.