When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.