When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.

The wicked at heart probably know something.

You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.