In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have.

It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.

I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.