I write the script; nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.

Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

The heart wants what it wants.

Death is an acquired trait.

Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.

The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.