You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.

Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.

There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.