I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.

I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.

I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I hope you're getting this down.

Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.