I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.

I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.