Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: "Let us out, let us out!".

Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday

My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.