I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.

It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?

Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.

Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.