My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.

Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.

In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.

I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.