Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.

There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.