For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.

I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.

The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.

My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.

Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?