Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative

You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.