If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.

If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.

My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?