Your audience teaches you how to be funny.

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.

A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.