I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.

The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.

That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.

I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.

I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.

I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.