My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.