My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.