When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.

In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.