I read in self-defense.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.