Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.

I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.

Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.

I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.