Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.

If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.

I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.