She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.

I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.

Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.

Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety

If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.