Human existence is a brutal experience to me... it's a brutal, meaningless experience - an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, terrible experience, and so it salvation is what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most.

I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.

Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.

You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.

When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.