I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.

Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.