If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Life is for the living.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.

What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.