That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.