That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

In the event of war, I'm a hostage.

Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.

Me and nature are two.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.