My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.

Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.