My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.

I see the glass half full...but of poison.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.