God is either cruel or incompetent.
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.